People treat you the way you allow.

Abusers do what they do it because they can get away with it. They may not be doing it for the sake of just doing it, but they go through with it because they think they can without consequence. If someone treats you like shit, it may not be your fault but it has very much become your problem. If your adamant and they just don't care, maybe it's time to cut them out of your life.

It becomes systematic, and enabling people to feel like they can say no is work worth doing. We're all better off the more people are able to follow their own path without fear of being manipulated.

At the same time, if you aren't aware of how your being manipulated and make course corrections your going to be manipulated by people who aren't consciously trying to manipulate. If you aren't aware of the behavioral modification put on you, you are being manipulated.

Make no mistake, either that manipulation runs deep and it must be understood that it gets you to the point where you are psychologically unable to recognize what power you do have to change the situation. Your sense of inherent dignity is worn down to the point of having a pathology that you are, by nature, "helpless". For people in this psychosis it is not simply a matter of choosing a different path. The possibility of path-working no-longer registers for them. They need to be shown the possibility, through gnosis.

There are two extremes we really don't want to fall in:

a) The extreme of thinking there is no communal responsibility here, that you aren't affected when others enable an abuser. It is a systematic illness, a recurring pattern.

b) Being so afraid of victim blaming that we don't suggest a cognitive evaluation of ones actions. Most people don't know why they do what they do, no point in punishing them for it but if they're never told to figure out that process they wont correct themselves when they are in error. Now it may be they aren't in error, yet don't take the steps needed to address the situation. Unless inaction is needed, that is in error.

There's nothing wrong with saying you don't have the means if that's you being honest with yourself, not an excuse.

I very much recognize the importance of communal power, a collective of personal power. That bit that goes:

A young man tried to move a boulder but try as he might could not.
An older man said, "what's the matter?:
The younger man said "try as I might, I can not move it"
The elder said, "Did you try with all your might?"
The younger said "yes"
The elder man said, "did you ask me to help?"
The junior said "no"
To which the senior replied "then you did not use all your might"/

It's not about what you have or what you own, but getting it done.
Obviously there are going to be options which aren't feasible but if you never look beyond your current means how do you ever expect to go beyond them?
That's just the hard reality of it.

Now the role of the senor in this bit is where our communal responsibility comes in. It is hypocritical to say "ask for help", or "there are way" if you aren't going to live for that better way.
Even if we are to argue that a person has everything they need, sometimes they need a sponsor.

We can talk about being poor, I get it, I can talk about being poor but if your poor the worst thing you can do is worry about it.
Don't be deluded about the cards dealt but don't let it consume you. You might have to make more sacrifices than others, even if you shouldn't have to.
All the same, if you aren't looking to meet tour needs why even try at life?
Yes you have to choose your battles but that's not the same as not fighting.
First rule of survival- you don't keep going, you die.
The same can be said of your soul.
If your view of the world isn't innocent, if you know better, you need that.
If you don't have the right to choose to keep going or not then what rights do you really have?
If your going to live instead of merely exist, you have to decree your life.
Why should anyone recognize your rights if you aren't willing to fight for them?

Pacifism has it's virtues but you simply can not afford to always be a pacifist.
You have a waking self to take care of.

Yes if someone did me wrong and I was blamed for their crime I'd be pissed. You should be pissed when that happens to you.
You have every right to be. There is no excuse on behalf of the abuser and if you were to kill them where they stand I would not blame you.
However, if I find myself being abused, if I do not contemplate what makes me easy prey, than I am doing myself a great disservice.

Theres nothing wrong with being bold. Express yourself as you will, but know while you shouldn't have to put up with anther's inability to get their shit together, to go out into this world not knowing how to defend yourself is a grave mistake. Right or wrong there are always consequences for truly being you. I however, can not think of anything more worthwhile.

Fear is a necessary survival mechanism, but you can't live in fear.